The Segregation of Shit and Beauty

Why is it that corporate America is tarnishing the one precious gem I have left in my life, good music. We all have those guiltypleasures like reality T.V, top 40 songs or deep fried Oreos. But keeping them segregated from the true beauty was key. Now that key has been melted down and turned into a bullet. A bullet, which penetrates my heart and renders me limp, dead. Okay, I am being a little dramatic here but it does really piss me off when great bands agree to sell their songs to products or do a cameo on a shitty TV show.

I understand that musicians need funds in order to live and continue making music they love and we enjoy. However, there has to be a better way to do that than making Outback Steakhouse commercials. That’s right Outback Steakhouse. A few years ago Of Montreal sold a song of theirs to Outback Steakhouse. Oh just wait, it gets worse. Not only did they give it to Outback but they rerecorded it with new lyrics about Outback Steakhouse. OUCH. That is just one example of the betrayal bands I like have forced me to endure.

Here are some more examples of the most upsetting betrayals that have fallen upon me: Passion Pit’s “Sleepyhead”, my second favorite song on the album, Manners, has been used for the new Palm Smart Phone. Not so smart Passion Pit! Kings of Leon’s “Red Morning Light” is being used in a Ford commercial. What do hookers have to do with Fords? Matt and Kim’s “Good Ol’ Fashion Nightmare” was used to promote the show Community, funny show though. Santogold’s “Lights Out” is used in a Bud Light commercial. Drink until you pass out? Is that the message here?

In most cases when songs are used to promote evil American capitalism, they are misinterpreted. Bands don’t often write songs with cell phones, cars, insurance and cleaning products in mind. Their lyrics are not about side effects, leather interiors and the efficiency of germ killing. The way I see it using great songs for commercials is not only bad for the band but it deprives the impoverished jingle writer of his career.

I guess if I were forced to sell out I would do it by selling a song to a product rather than doing a cameo on a show. I would not want to show my face to America as I sold my soul to the devil for cash. Now I have ranted and bitched about corporate and capitalistic America but like I said we all have our guilty pleasures and mine is Gossip Girl. The show is for me what a smooth, snow white, line of coke is for a junkie and I can’t get enough! The fact that they have used songs from Peter Bjorn and John, Ladyhawke, Little Ones, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Elliot Smith, The Virgins, The Kooks, MGMT, Cloud Cult, The Submarines, The Duke Spirit, Mates of State, The National, Cold War Kids and Anya Marina is soul crushing enough but when bands are in the plot line all hope is lost. Tokyo Police Club on Desperate Housewives? They used to be cool. No Doubt on Gossip Girl, is that really necessary?

So, if you are in a band I like, please for lil ol’ me, don’t give your songs to bleach, hairspray, alcohol and don’t appear on shitty television shows. Let me enjoy my deep fried Oreos and Gossip Girl separately from my Passion Pit.

“If You’re Right, You’ll Agree:” A Few Fashion Tips.

Ok Hipsters its time to have a talk. The whole point and saving grace of being a “hipster” is that you have good taste in alternative art. You are supposed to be naturally drawn to what is a-typical. You are supposed to have an eye for things that may not be obviously appealing to others. You find beauty in unlikely places. This of course should include style and fashion. Now, I am not the fashion police by any means whatsoever. I have made my mistakes, by the dozens. Just ask Nataly, she has an opinion on just about everything I’ve ever worn (although most of the time she is wrong.) However, lately I have noticed that in “the scene,” some of you are making some pretty bad choices and they’re spreading  faster than the swine flu.  Some of the accoutrements that I have seen out and about just look fucking dumb.

Now there are some pieces that others out there may have a problem with. A lot of people bitch about Skinny Jeans. That’s just silly. Skinny Jeans are hot. What looks hotter than jeans that are painted on to your ass? Nothing. Another favorite to complain about among the haters, are high wasted skirts. Please, its adorable, girly and retro. Go for it. I say yes. See, I am not a hater. I’m just trying to stop you from looking like a total idiot.

If you really know what you are doing and feel you can pull of the feathers-in-hair thing, keep them to a minimum, one or two at the most. Also it would be preferable if the feathers you chose were actually pleasant looking and not like they came from a crow with Avian Flu.

Now a case where less isn’t more: Mens shirts as dresses. If you do this right, it’s a go. However, a lot of you out there apparently don’t own mirrors because, you are wearing shirts so short that, I can see your bloomers. I know that a lot of you think the shorter the dress the sexier, right? But can’t you see, if your wearing a shirt that is not covering your ass, then you simply look like you forgot your pants. Do you really want to be walking around in a shirt and shoes? This looks like your drunk or stupid.

Last but definitely not least, why are you guys trying to kill flannel?  Flannel has had its place in alternative culture for decades. From hippies to grungies, flannel is part of our roots, it’s deep with history. Now every time I go to Kung Fu or Johnny Brenda’s it looks like Paul Bunyan threw-up in there. Perhaps we could have like a raffle system to determine who can wear flannel on what day? Maybe it’s too late for flannel. Maybe we just can’t wear it for a while. Should we do it cold-turkey? I don’t know, I am open to suggestions. For now I know I can’t go near the stuff without feeling like I’m putting on a uniform.

That’s all I got for now. Ok that’s not true, there is more. But I will stop here to make sure that you really let these suggestions sink in. Think about our reputation. Popular culture hates us. I’m cool with that, because mostly it’s just envy. Who doesn’t like being envied. But lets not give them fuel for the fire. Going out with a birds nest on our heads is never gonna work in our favor.

Diary of a Band: Odessa Stair

No matter what raw talent you and your mates possess, your band really sucks when it starts out, especially when compared to a world-class act like Odessa Stair. Your girlfriend might like your songs, but you sound like a bunch of dorks, who aren’t Odessa Stair, to anyone who isn’t emotionally attached to your penis.

The only way to get good is to play out. Performing in front of an audience, early and often, will give you and your songs confidence. But remember - you suck, so don’t shoot for a gig just yet! Find yourself an open mic and learn how to play music like a man!

We played our first open mic at Fergie’s. We didn’t play all that great, but then again, no one does. Open mics are where talent goes to die. But I’m going to give you a few pointers so you can tap all the resources you can when you play for the first time.

Be prepared to wait: We showed up five minutes late to sign-up at The Fire and we didn’t get to play until 1 a.m. By that point I was shit-faced, forgot all the words to the songs and Dan knocked the cord out of his bass. It was the greatest show we ever played.

No one gives a shit: Everyone in the audience – if there is an audience – is just waiting for you to get off the stage so their friends can play. I know it’s hard to ignore the polite, disinterested applause, but those idiots probably listen to Grizzly Bear, so fuck them.

Be observant: Self-awareness is important in the beginning. Take notes on what you do while you perform and determine if it suits your stage presence. For example, I don’t let myself get drunk before playing anymore, and therefore I no longer weep into the microphone!

Schmooze, schmooze, schmooze: This is the name of the game. Tell EVERY musician that you loved their set. Who cares if they’re still writing songs on acoustic guitar about their girlfriend leaving them for someone who doesn’t wet the bed? Pat told one singer-songwriter that he would never have sex again because no one could compare to the beauty of his songs. That singer-songwriter’s name was Neil Diamond, and now we’re opening up for him in the spring.

None of this really matters because you’re going to suck no matter what you do. You might as well just drink a ton of beer (or wine if you’re straight edge,) run around the stage and have fun. Don’t worry about how terrible you sound; you’ll never be as bad as the homeless poet who pisses himself onstage.

~Steve

Do It For Your Country

Psychic Chasms by Neon Indian: Dig Up Your Thong Leotard!

The Hipster life-style has it’s own appropriate clothing, lingo, attitude/outlook on life and now its very own genre of music. Whether it is referred to as glo-fi, hypnagogic pop or chillwave, it’s sound is characterized as danceable, lite-electro-pop which most likely was recorded in a basement or closet. It is the kind of music you can’t help but bop your head to and often evokes images of spandex shorts, Atari, pigtails and ring-pops (for me at least.)

Alan Palomo, a twenty-something from Texas along with visual artist, Alicia Scardetta, make up Neon Indian and are responsible for Psychic Chasms which was released October 13. Neon Indian is Palomo’s third musical endeavor and in my eyes the most successful. The album’s success lies within its ability to have a lo-fi sound that does not fully consume the songs. Lo-fi records often remind me of the Cliff Notes to a really good book. Lo-fi can be seen as an easy way out for musicians, but not in Psychic Chasms’ case.

The video game soundtracks, heavy synth-sounds and the cloudy vocals come together to create a dream-like experience involving the rolling credits of an 80’s newscast. Each song creates its own visual vignette. “Deadbeat Summer”, the single from the album, paints a hot summer day bathed in sunshine, whimsical and love-struck. The track, “Laughing Gas” forcefully shoves an image of an 80’s workout video into my mind, neon sweatbands, high french-cut leotards and all.

Psychic Chasms is one of the few albums that fit under the hipster genre umbrella without cheapening it. Lo-fi does not become a cheat sheet, and the album retains its light and fluffy dance-ability. This is not a soul-searching album, or one with deep metaphoric lyrics but is carefully crafted and extremely visual.

Even if you don’t subscribe to the hipster agenda, you will enjoy this album. It’s tweed business suits on the news, it’s 80’s fabulous workouts, it’s happy, trippy fun.

The Scotland Yard Gospel Choir: I like almost all of it so much.

Most of The Scotland Yard Gospel Choir’s new album … and the Horse You Rode In On, is a wonderfully hilarious tribute to the 80’s British post-punk scene. The first eight tracks had me laughing, rocking-out and writing a fabulous review in my head. If you love The Cure and The Clash (and who doesn’t?), you will totally dig where this album is headed. Songs like “One Night Stand,” could have come directly from London Calling. Scotland’s lead singer Elia Einhorn croons with the same, dark, drippy, painful style of Robert Smith, but the lyrics are worlds away. They are not complicated or deep, just blunt, honest immature and funny. Lyrics like, “I hope that you catch syphilis and die alone” and “Thoughts of him on top, then you on top refuse stop,” make you laugh, especially when they are sung so beautifully with throaty soul, coming straight from the gut. However, all of a sudden the album takes a strange turn.

The track. “Sixteen Is To Young,” is a beautiful “slow song” sung by Mary Ralph with a perfectly pretty voice. You are forced to take it seriously. I really enjoyed the track. I found the unexpected change in sound and tone refreshing and imagined that we would return to the punkier sound that had come before. But the next song was very similar, a duet this time. In fact the next three tracks also veered off the original path that I had been so looking forward to traveling. Now don’t start angrily commenting yet. I am all for variety on an album. The more a band can do, the more moods and emotions it can pull from you the better. But you can’t deny that a huge part of creating a successful album is taking all the wonderful sounds you have created and working them into a cohesive piece. Take the above mentioned London Calling; that is an epic album. It combines, rock, pop, blues, punk and even reggae. The difference is you never forget that you are listening to The Clash. It’s a story. You cant wait to hear what happens next. I would have enjoyed every single song on …and the Horse You Rode In On, had they been on different albums.

…and the Horse You Rode In On, regains its composure in the last three songs. I liked the beginning and end so much that I can forgive the mushy center. It is worth the trip. However, a truly great album should never force you to take the good with the bad.

**** The Scotland Yard Gospel Choir were involved in a serious car accident on September 24th on their way to play a show. We wish them a full recovery and hope that they are able to get back to doing what they do. For more information on the accident and what you can do to help click here.

Man Man: Ridding the World of Fascism

If you have never heard of Man Man you are certainly no friend of mine. It may also mean you are not from Philadelphia, like bad music, are a fascist, or hate fun. There seems to be two extremes when it comes to Man Man’s music. You either love it until it becomes a creepy obsession, possibly involving a shrine in your closet or you hate it and it gives you nightmares. If you are the latter, you are most likely a fascist.

The music of Man Man is unlike anything out there today and is saturated with creativity, imagery, talent, feathers and amazing musicality. The songs range from catchy and dancey to aggressively tragic. The eclectic sound of all three albums, The Man in the Blue Turban With a Face, Six Demon Bag, and Rabbit Habits, never gets stale and isn’t overdone.

The songs are a perfect mixture of drums, piano, saxophone, synthesizer, sousaphone, flute, xylophone, plastic toy horns, wind toys, spoons on metal and the unforgettable, raspy, vocal stylings of Honus Honus (Ryan Kattner). Regardless of the fact that none of the members of Man Man have formal training in any of the many instruments they play, each song resembles a well choreographed, well rehearsed, perfected ballet. It is not by chance that the sousaphone and the plastic toy horns play harmoniously while the piano and vocals seem to be battling. Both the musicality and the performance aspect of their shows reflect organized chaos. Chaotic and yet consistently awesome!

Seeing them live is like having the best sex you’ve ever had. They even skip the ceremonious foreplay and jump right into an hour long climax, no boring small talk, no lame little jokes, no breaking the ice etc… Their set never stops so as not to break the momentum. In the end both you and them are sweaty, exhausted and satisfied.  For those of you who enjoy the foreplay and slow, tender, love making, try Jason Mraz.

Man Man would not be the world-improving force that it is today without the flawless drumming of Pow Pow (Christopher Powell) and the scratchy, Brillo pad vocals of Honus Honus.  They set up their instruments so that the drums and Honus’ piano and microphone are  side by side and downstage center.  This provides the audience with a real show.  Honus and Pow often gaze at each other for cues and have certain choreographed movements that go with the particular song they are playing.  Your eyes never get bored watching while Honus perches on his stool, in a glitter dress and flaunts his legs, meanwhile Pow Pow pours water on his drums to make a splashing effect when he plays.

After one Man Man show your fascist tendencies will melt away and the liberty loving you, will shine through.  They call me boy crazy but I can seriously never get enough Man Man.  If you like a great show, flawless music, America, fun and freedom, than go see Man Man the next time you get a chance.

Girls: Image Isn’t Everything.

When the California lo-fi band, Girls, took the stage last night at Kung Fu Necktie, I was a little concerned. The motley crew looked like it would rather be anywhere else but at that exact place at that exact time. Christopher Owens was a mousey little guy who looked terrified at the thought of playing for the obviously indifferent audience. Not at all what I had expected of the free thinking, drug consuming, cult surviving, writing wizard  that is Owens. I wondered how this band would hold up in front of this testy Philadelphia audience.

However, Owens and his band were quick to win me over. It took a few songs to warm up but soon Owens was wearing his heart on his sleeve and bearing his soul for all to see. It wasn’t an extremely eventful show and the rest of the band seemed to want to fade into the background, but they played beautifully and backed up Owens as he shared the “sad song in his sweet heart.”

They covered most of the aptly named Album, literally breaking my heart when they performed “Hellhole Ratrace” and “Lauren Marie.” I would have loved to hear “Big Bad Mean Mother Fucker.” That seemed like an obvious choice for a live show to me, but it wouldn’t have fit the mood or the zombie like crowd.

I am glad I went. It wasn’t a bad time. However, listening to Album laying in the sun with your eyes closed feeling melancholy is a much more rewarding experience.

Also, listen, watch, and read album review for Girls, here.

The Honus Honus Interview: Swept Off My Feet Like A Fish.

We love Man Man. It’s obvious, we’ve stuffed it down your throat even more than Victor Victor Band. We are such big fans that Sister and I, between the two of us, have seen them in five different states in slightly over a year.

In their own way they started our unhealthy obsession with local and indie music. If you get the joke in the name of our Web site then you know that the music and experience of Man Man plays a huge part in what we do here at HEFF.

So when the opportunity to sit down with frontman Honus Honus presented it’s self we were psyched! We packed the car with vegan snacks, tempted Nataly’s crappy car radio to make it the 3.5 hour trip, and headed south into rainy, dark traffic on I-95, all to catch up with them at the 9:30 Club in Washington D.C. (Okay, okay, we were going anyway, duh! But, getting to talk with them was an extra “rad” experience.)

I sat down between sets to speak with Honus Honus. We grilled him a little about their long absence from Philly, and his feelings on relationships. We covered a wide and strange array of topics like, death, parenthood, skydiving and his inspirations. We had to stop a few times for the bands to play, so a few questions went unanswered, but don’t fret whether you like it or not, you will be hearing a lot more from Man Man on our little site.

HEFF:How come we haven’t seen you guys in Philly for quite a while?

HH: I don’t know. It’s like we haven’t been avoiding Philly we just for some reason or another haven’t played Philly. It’s almost been a year.

HEFF: Your R5 relationship is still good and strong?

HH: Yeah that’s still good. (Slight hesitation and laugh). No, no it’s good. There really hasn’t been a reason why we haven’t played Philly…. We all feel really lousy about it. We don’t sleep well.

HEFF: I don’t think we have seen you in state since last Halloween.

HH: Well I mean we don’t like playing Philly all the time anyway because we don’t want to wear out or welcome but a year is kind of ludicrous. We kind of feel at this point that we need more new songs, or a new record before we have the right to play Philly again anyway, so thats on us.

HEFF: So Chris (Drummer Pow Pow aka Christopher Powel) said you did have some new songs.

HH: Yeah we are going to play a couple tonight.

HEFF: Tell me about them.

HH: They’re new.(laughs)

HEFF: Is there an album behind it?

HH: Oh I mean thats why we haven’t been touring very much. We’ve just been trying to write a new record. I keep telling myself it’s the hardest one to write. What a bitch. But then I think back and they were all pretty terrible to write. So we are kind of in the thick of it.

HEFF: What’s your writing process? You all have a certain sound that you bring to it. So how do you do that? Does one person write?

HH: It’s like group therapy, a lot of putting out family fires.

HEFF: How did you guys find each other?

HH: Through Match.com(laughs)…. He [Pow] was always my favorite Philly drummer, so when my first drummer bounced, I got someone else and then I got Pow.

HEFF: Your fans are either die hard or “I can’t listen to that crazy clown music”.

HH: (Laughs)Clown music?? Wow that’s cool.

HEFF: Why do you think your music can draw so many people and turn so many people off?

HH: I dig it, you know? I like eliciting some response. I’d rather it be an extreme one than a middling one where some one just bops their head. I’d rather people just go ape-shit with happiness or just be completely reviled. I like that we can piss people off its great.

HEFF: Who are your fans?

HH: I think, anyone who the child isn’t dead in them. You know? Someone who is at least open. I mean I feel like your either into it or your not. I feel like I am the same way personally so it works for the music too.

HEFF: Are your love songs about hope or about heartbreak?

HH: Hope that heartbreak doesn’t happen again. But being open to it possibly happening again. I don’t know both.

HEFF: Do you believe in painless love?

HH: I wish. I mean I haven’t been in a relationship in years now. It’s worth trying… I don’t know.

HEFF: So when you write about love, not having been in a relationship recently, are you pulling from the past?

HH: Well I mean I wasn’t able to write songs for like about a year or so, just because I just didn’t feel like I had anything. I didn’t want to go to the well basically.

We take a break to watch Opening Band Who Shot Hollywood play.

HEFF: How do you go from being Ryan to Honus? I mean you are so quiet and nice right now?

HH: (Mischievous laugh)Ahh. Its funny, I went to go to the Dirty Projectors show the other day but just to catch their sound check, because i wanted to watch the Phillies game and one of the girls in the band (we played a couple shows with them) she walked by me a couple times and we finally got to talk and she said she didn’t recognize me cause she was used to seeing my legs. Maybe thats what it is?

HEFF: What do you want to be doing when your 64?

HH: I want to be dead!

HEFF: Dead by 64?

HH: We are all dead by 2012! … I hope I have something figured out by 64.

HEFF: What is it that your trying to figure out?

HH: My shit.

HEFF: Do you want to be playing music? Do you want to be settled down?

HH: I don’t know. I’d hope that the “shit show” that’s my personal life, I hope that it settles down a little bit, yeah. I’ll probably just be a little more mellow.

HEFF: Are you happy?

HH: Are YOU happy?

HEFF: Most of the time.

HH: Yeah? What’s the secret?

HEFF: Honestly… for me it’s my kid.

HH: Well than yeah, its not your life anymore…. that’s the last thing I need to have is a fucking kid (laughs)…. it would be terrible if i had a kid.

HEFF: Would it? Why?

HH: Nah it would just be bad.

HEFF: Your kid could be so creative and crazy and fun.

HH: My kid would be a mess or he’d just grow up to be really conservative.

HEFF: There you go that would probably be it.

HH:… generally how that happens.

HEFF: Back to the music. What are you listening to?

HH: I’ve been listening to a lot of early R&B. My friend got me into this record Tarheel Slim and Little Annie. It’s really cool like early Sixties R&B. I am a sucker for R&B and Do-woop

HEFF: Yeah it’s obvious.

HH: ( laughs)Yeah. I did a cover of Cry To Me by Solomon Burke. A friend of mine (Charlyne Yi) she was in our Rabbit Habits video. She remade a scene of Dirty Dancing with that actor Channing Tatum… They reenacted the sexy, sultry dancing. They couldn’t get the rights to that Solomon Burke song so she had me cover that song and it was painful. Solomon Burke is like 400 pounds, 90 grandchildren, full of soul. I mean I have some soul but my soul is broken and fucked. So it took two days to record my vocals for it. And the first day I made it like 3 hours and I had to leave and go to bed at 5 o’clock at night. I was like I don’t know how to do this. I can’t do this. But I figured it out. I don’t know where that story came form.

HEFF: How did you get together with Charlyne? How did she get involved in your videos and opening for you?

HH: A friend of a friend, and then we just clicked. She’s pretty fearless she’s got some big balls on her. When we first stared hanging out we went skydiving together that was a lot of fun.

HEFF: Oh shit, how was that? Was that your first time?

HH: Yeah for both of us. It was probably our last time, well I want to go again.

HEFF: I always said when I’m 84

HH: (laughs)Yeah when your 84?… It’s gonna be written into my will, [that] I want my mom to go skydiving with my ashes.

HEFF: And spread them?

HH: Ah huh ..I’m going to give people pieces of my ashes to do something with. Like my one friend Angry Mike, I want him to have my ashes and go snorkeling in the Bahamas you know and spread um in the water, he can’t swim so that would be awesome. And my moms like, “If i jump out of a plane i’ll have a heart attack.” I’m like, “At least your dying with me.”

HEFF: How did you conceptualize, was this your musical sound that comes through in Man Man?

HH: It’s kind of my answer all the time but its the truth: I couldn’t afford therapy and this is how i get my shit out of my system. But its ironic because it just got to the point where if I didn’t have this I would just be….

Then they called him for set time!!!

Philly Fanatics

I have been referred to as an obsessed fan on several occasions.  I take that with pride and valor.  I get that you can love a band’s music so much that you feel moved, inspired or even transformed.  But I have never been compelled to grope, confess my undying love, or steal from a band I like.  Those of you who know me really really well might be saying to yourselves: what about that time you told Fiona Apple you loved her?  Well, screw you because I do!  On with my point.

I just never understood fanaticism that involved crying over Elvis or fainting over the The Beatles.  What good does that do?  You’re blinded by your tears and you miss it all if you pass out.  You paid good money to see The King. Why faint and see the insides of your eyelids instead?  Does the music move you so much that your organs, circulatory system and lungs give up? PUH-LEASE.

Jump to modern day.  Still no point in crying over bands you like.  What’s worse is the “I LOVE YOU, fill in the blank”.  No, you don’t.  You don’t know them and they don’t love you back.  At least not in the same way.  You never know.  They could be republican, racist or bite their toenails, all unloveable traits.

Gets worse: How about the grabbing and touching?  That is borderline molestation last time I checked.  I think it’s safe to say the band members do not enjoy the reaching for their privates unless it’s by a wife, girlfriend or mistress.  What do you think will happen if you cop-a-feel?  Their talent will be magically transfered to you? Or maybe you think they will feel your touch and thus forth, only have eyes for you?  Not likely.

So maybe you think well, touching their nuts didn’t do it so perhaps I’ll just get myself a little keepsake.  That’s right I’ve seen it with my own eyes!  Fans stealing from the very bands they love so dearly.  Picks, drumsticks, instruments taken.  Will these things complete your shrine?

Musicians are people just like me and you.  Granted they are talented, and that makes them sexy but people just the same.  Every musician wants fans that are enthusiastic, supportive and eager.  However, I think it best to just enjoy the music, the sexy musicians, and a respectful crowd.  Be moved, inspired or transformed but please keep the tears, fainting, molestation and larceny to a bare minimum.

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