Diary of a Band: Odessa Stair

Odessa Stair, the band that other bands didn’t want to play with at recess, has been reaching new levels of popularity. Between opening up for U2, swinger parties at Feist’s house, and Pat winning Best Actor for Crazy Heart at the Oscars, there has been precious little time for diary entries.

We finished our demo and committed it to 100 cassettes in December ’09. We decided that instead of a set title, each cassette would be individually named after one of the rebus riddles you find on the caps of Lionshead, such as Sky’s the Limit or Lady and the Tramp. We learned a very valuable lesson: Never try something so stupid again. Explaining that to everyone is bad enough, but we got drunk while solving the riddles, so a lot of them are called Fuk U LOL! orPUSSYMART!!!!

People have not been shy to me about their distaste for the cassette format. “What’s next? 8-Track?” “How are you going to make money selling tapes?” “Can you put it on a CD-R for me?” Let me be blunt: If your band’s demo is on CD-R, you’re an asshole. Hold a copy of your CD-R demo in your hand and look in the mirror. If the first words out of your mouth aren’t “God, I’m a pussy,” you probably don’t even have a mouth in the first place.

We played our first Brooklyn show in January at a place called Goodbye Blue Monday. People from Philly get very impressed when you tell them you played a show in Brooklyn, as if there are at least five record company executives in every Brooklyn club at all times. Little did they know that playing Goodbye Blue Monday requires little more than signing up through e-mail. The show went well and some drunk chicky declared her affections for Dan’s belly, but she didn’t buy anything. Girls are assholes. Girls and bands with CD-Rs, man. Assholes.

I feel better than ever about this band. Creepy strangers are starting to dig us, people are enjoying the tape and we’ve got tons of new songs. I can’t wait until Odessa Stair becomes the soundtrack to your lives and is the last real thing you can hold on to in this world of pain and corporate greed. That’s when we’ll sign to Sony and take over the Billboard charts on the strength of our smash single “How’s My Dick Feelin’ (In Your Booty).” Everyone will know it as “That Song in the KIA Commercial.”

~Steve

PS: If you were stupid enough to get rid of your tape deck, you can download our tape here (Dan will give your computer AIDS if you burn it on CD-R): http://www.archive.org/details/OdessaStair-__________

PPS: We’ve got a show at the Khyber on Tuesday, April 6. Come out and see us. You check out all the other bands that get hyped on Hipsters Rarely Update This Website, so you might as well check us out too.